DEJA VU

Have you experienced déjà vu? It's that shadowy feeling you get when a situation seems familiar. A scene in a restaurant plays out exactly as you remember.
The world moves like a ballet you've choreographed,but the sequence can't be based on a past experience.because you've never eaten here before.This is the first time you've had clams,

so what's going on?

Unfortunately, there isn't one single explanation for déjà vu.
The experience is brief and occurs without notice,making it nearly impossible
for scientists to record and study it.
Scientists can't simply sit around and wait for it to happen to them this could take years.
It has no physical manifestations and in studies,it's described by the subject
as a sensation or feeling.

Because of this lack of hard evidence,there's been a surplus of speculation over the years.
Since Emile Boirac introduced déjà vu as a French term meaning "already seen,"more than 40 theories attempt to explain this phenomenon.
Still, recent advancements in neuroimaging and cognitive psychology narrow down the field of prospects.
 

Let's walk through three of today's more prevalent theories,using the same
restaurant setting for each.

First up is dual processing.
We'll need an action.Let's go with a waiter dropping a tray of dishes as he brings food for you and you are sitting on your chair and seeing this as its happening
 

As the scene unfolds your brain's hemispheres process a flurry of information: the waiter's flailing arms,his cry for help,the smell of pasta.Within milliseconds, this information zips through pathways and is processed into a single moment.
Most of the time, everything is recorded in-sync.
However, this theory asserts that déjà vu occurs when there's a slight delay in information from one of these pathways. The difference in arrival times causes the brain to interpret the late information as a separate event.When it plays over the already-recorded moment, it feels as if it's happened before because, in a sense, it has.


Our next theory deals with a confusion of the past rather than a mistake in the present. This is the hologram theory,and we'll use that tablecloth you have on the table to examine it.lets imagine it has squared shaped patterns on it,a distant memory swims up from deep within your brain.
According to the theory,this is because memories are stored in the form of holograms,and in holograms,you only need one fragment to see the whole picture.
Your brain has identified the tablecloth with one from the past, maybe from your grandmother's house.
However, instead of remembering that you've seen it at your grandmother's,your brain has summoned up the old memory without identifying it.This leaves you stuck with familiarity, but no recollection.Although you've never been
in this restaurant,you've seen that tablecloth but are just failing to identify it.

Now, look at back of your hand Are you paying attention?

Our last theory is divided attention, and it states that déjà vu occurs when our brain subliminally takes in an environment while we're distracted by one particular object. When our attention returns, we feel as if we've been here before.
For example, if at that scenario of restaurant you were focused on back of your hand and didn't observe the tablecloth or the falling waiter.Although your brain has been recording everything in your peripheral vision,it's been doing so below conscious awareness.When you finally pull yourself away from your hand,you think you've been here before because you have,you just weren't paying attention.


While all three of these theories share the common features of déjà vu,none of them propose to be the conclusive source of the phenomenon.Still, while we wait
for researchers and inventers to come up with new ways to capture this fleeting moment,we can study the moment ourselves.After all, most studies of déjà vu
are based on first-hand accounts,so why can't one be yours?
 

The next time you get déjà vu, take a moment to think about it.
Have you been distracted?Is there a familiar object somewhere?Is your brain just acting slow?Or is it something else?

LETTING GO OF SOMEONE YOU LOVE DEEPLY

Have you been dumped, betrayed or left so heartbroken that you didn't ever want to love again? Are you still stuck on an ex and don't know how to move on? And how do you know when it's time to let go and look for love somewhere else? 

1-Are your standards too low? What is it about you that causes you to settle for somebody that you know will cheat on you, know will lie to you, know will make a commitment and then break it? What is it about you that you believe about yourself that you're willing to settle for that? Recognize that you're settling and that you deserve more. Set a higher standard for yourself.

2-Does he really even make you happy? Be honest with yourself about the extent to which he's really meeting your needs. Chances are you're longing for the relationship that you wish it could be, and that you want to be in love with the person you wish he was.There are times when you break up with somebody and you start missing them and you start thinking about all the good things. And then you're back with them for about 10 minutes and you go 'Oh yeah! Now I remember why I hate you!'" Don't kid yourself about what it was really like or glorify the past. 

3-Don't wait around because you think he's going to change. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, so the chance that he's going to ride in on his white horse and do the right thing is pretty slim. To the extent that there's some history, you don't have to speculate, you just have to measure."

4-Don't put your life on hold. Every minute you spend focusing on your ex is a minute that's holding you back from a better future. As long you are obsessed on this guy, you will never put your heart, soul and mind into getting your life in order and starting another relationship if you want one. Set some goals and start putting your life back together.

5-Ask yourself: Are you hiding in the relationship so you don't have to face the reality of being on your own? Don't stay with someone because it's comfortable and safe. It may seem more secure, but it's not healthy for you and it certainly won't help you get to a better place. Why would you want to settle and waste your life away just to avoid getting back in the game?

6-learn to trust again — by trusting yourself. Trust is not about how much you trust one person or another to do right or wrong. How much you trust another person is a function of how much you trust yourself to be strong enough to deal with their imperfections. Have enough faith in yourself to be able to put yourself on the line with someone, without any guarantee of what will happen next. If you're playing the game with sweaty palms, it's because you're afraid of what you can or can't do, or dealing with your own imperfections — it's not about the other person.

7-Know that you will get hurt if you're in a relationship. There is no perfect person without flaws. Even a well-intended guy is going to hurt his partner. He's going to hurt your feelings. He's going to say things that you don't want him to say. He's going to do things you wish he wouldn't do and not do things you wish he would do. A relationship is an imperfect union between two willing spirits who say, ''I'd rather be in a relationship and share my life, share my joys, share my fun, share my activities, share my life than do it alone." If you want to be in a relationship, know that getting hurt comes with the territory. You just have to decide that you are durable enough, that you have enough confidence in yourself that you can handle it. 

8-Don't invest more than you can afford to lose. While it's important to move forward, you need to take things one step at a time. Don't put so much out there that you'll be emotionally bankrupt if things go south. 

9-Don't beat yourself up. You got through your last experience, you've learned from it, and now it's time to move forward. say to yourself, "You'll move on and be a champion in your next endeavor as you did in your past ... Life is not a success-only journey. You are going to get beat up along the way."

  

10-Listen to what he's saying. If he's telling you that you want different things out of life and there's no way you can work as a couple, don't turn his words around into what you want to hear. He's being quite clear.

11-and lastly Focus on yourself. All of us come into relationships with baggage, but you need to have closure on past experiences before you can start a new relationship with the odds in your favor. Unless and until you've figured out everything you've got to figure out about that and you get closure, you will never come into a relationship with a fresh and clean heart and mind and expectancy and attitude.You're probably not ready to get into another relationship until you heal the wounds of your past. 

THINGS WE MISTAKE FOR LOVE

Love is a complicated thing, probably most complicated of all but how to know we are in love or most important how to know that its not love.i hear a lot of people saying that love hurts so what is about love that hurts
my article will hopefully will try to explain the things we all mistake for love

LOVE IS COMPLETE ACCEPTANCE OF OTHER PERSON , IT IS UNCONDITIONAL AND SELFLESS

so in other words when we love we dont need to change anything about other person because we accept them for who they are ,we dont find any fault in other person
unconditional means regardless of what they do, it wont affect our love and selfless means we dont want anything in return from the person we love, we just wanna give.

so how to know you ARE NOT  in love,

signs you arent in love

1-when you are seeking love, or  marriage then its not love , why we are seeking, what we want, if we look closely and  discover we will find that we just want to be happy and we think getting someone to love us will make us happy and we try to that fill open position, but  think about it, we are just using that person  for being happy, using their love so that we may feel better, isnt it true?

2- second things is when we try to change or improve someone that isnt love ,now point is why we do that,  why we try to change someone  or change how they act or behave ,its because we think  that will make us happy, so we try to change them to make us happy, about our self and our future  so if we change someone to make us happy ,then we are not accepting them for who they are and using them for make us happy, and using someone is not love

3-third thing is that we think that having positive thoughts about someone is love.what happens actually is that when we have positive thoughts about someone then we are meeting our thoughts, loving our thoughts,which creates a wall between us and we are just meeting that thoughts ,we aint connecting.its okay if its a little complicated

also if we have positive thoughts about a person then by nature we are gonna have negative thoughts about that person  , we cant match someone concept of perfect because lets face it , nobody is perfect

So as long as we are gonna have ideas about what is great about that person , we also gonna have ideas about what is not great about that person or they will change
most common example is if we are attracted to their looks, if thats the case then its gonna hurt in future because looks will change .so thats why it aint love.

4-now onto the next point.A lot of times we confuse excitement for love specially in the beginning of a relationship when we find somebody and say ''Oh i have found someone who will make me happy'', i dont have to continue looking, he or she makes me so happy, i get butterflies when i am with that person, its so overwhelming ,well  there is  nothing wrong about it but these thoughts are created by the positive thoughts about future we have in our mind when we are with that person and its nothing related to love ,
there is nothing wrong with it and its okay ,alright to have this feeling  but excitement goes eventually when we stay with them longer and sees the real personality of that person

5- next thing is that when we want our partner to do things for us then in that moment its not love
we say if u love me you would appreciate me more, if you love me you would cook for me or spend time with me more, sacrifice for me
we have a false  concept that love is sacrificing or filling my needs but its not love its using someone

if we love someone we dont want anything from that person if they dont feel compelled to act and
if we love them why we want them to sacrifice for us  unless they want to, so when we asking them to fill our  needs then  its not love ,its selfishness and its okay its how we are  trained to act in relationship,  but in that moment its not love

6- sixth thing which we confuse to be love is the thought that we have heard so many times

I LOVE HOW YOU MAKE ME FEEL

so if you are with somebody then you will love how they make you feel when you are around them, we feel good when they compliment us,it creates  positive thinking, distracting us from other things, our other problems currently in our life , so we think in that moment we love them but in reality we actually love or enjoy how we feel around them ,
its fine but reason it is not love because when we love a person only because  if that person  make us feel good then we are gonna hate that person  when he or she will make us feel bad so its conditional on how we feel, it isnt love , not in that moment at least

7-the final thing which we mistake for love  is if we are afraid to lose somebody's love and afraid of not getting love in return then in that moment its not love because love wants nothing in return.

so if we are afraid of losing love then unconditionally we are saying i would be happy if we have their love and i am scared of loosing their love so if u r afraid of losing love then u saying that i want to love that person  so that i can get love in return ,
its not loving unconditionally at least in that moment , we are not loving for sake of it,
its true that love is about letting go,


when we love we love , love is how we are, it is not fear, its selfless, it doesnt demand anything nor it ask for anything

all these things which i mentioned above  are not problems nor i am saying its our fault entirely  because thats how we r programmed throughout life to act  but still all these points may help you figuring out if you are really in love or not

we think getting love will make us happy but in reality fulfillment comes from giving love, loving others unconditionally selflessly and without compromises

PEOPLE KNOW WHY THEY ARE CHANGING

the one thing which i have heard most of the times in my life is this thing, that i dont know why i have changed, i dont know whats goin on with me and i have no clue about it, i am sure everyone who is reading it must have heard it once in his or her life from someone ,well is it really true that we change? and is it really true that when it happens we have no idea why is it happening ?
well in my experience its not the case
'
in reality people dont change at all, they remain the same, what we often take in as a change is the reversible process in which humans tend to start showing what their real personalities are, which they dont show in the starting, confused? let me elaborate by giving an example

you decided to take a room with your best friend whom you know for very long time,, you hope that things will go well, we will have great time together , my friend is a great guy and we have greta fun together , so you start living with him, in the beginning everything is all good and exciting , you have a lot of fun, you two go to movies, eat together and what not but then the story takes turn

after a few months something about your friend seems odd, you start to see the not so nice habits and parts of personality which you somehow failed to see before, his or her way of sleeping, snoring, the way he or she dont clean dishes , and other chores,
its like somehow he or she has became another person or in the right sense ,changed!!

so the real question is, does that person really changed ?
answer is no,
 humans dont change, we dont have the capability to change, but then how can you explain the above roommate dilemma
what happens is when we first meet someone we dont really show our true selves, we tend to show the nature we think is the most pleasing, most acceptable, since we all are somewhat in confusion regarding our real nature and personality,
we have been told from the start to always show the behavior which show us as kind and friendly even if it means hiding our true self, which even though is not a bad thing but also somehow biased

its true it takes time to know someone ,and sometimes really long time ,thats why most marriages dont work even love or arranged. we cant know about a person just by knowing him or her 15 minutes ,hell 15 days alone, it takes time, a lot of time to see if the two are compatible or not and if not then its best to let go and save both from heartbreak

so in the above roommate story, you thought your friend was great because thats what he or she was shoeing you all those years ,that side of his or her personality , but as you spend more time with her or him, you started to know better ,

people dont change , they just becomes who they really are

and we shouldnt blame them for it, since its for your benefit that they are showing their true self and then its your choice to either accept them for what they are or leave them for someone compatible ,
but make sure you make that less painful

LEARN TO SAY HOW YOU FEEL

We are human beings. We think we are too smart. And that’s the problem right now which I am gonna talk about. We think we are smart but reality is that we aren’t and the problem is we think too much.

When we were little babies we used to ask for everything using hand gestures and our gibberish undeveloped language even though it didn’t made any sense to us but the whole point here is that back then we know that if we want anything then we need to ask for it. We knew that our parents not gonna read our mind and find out by themselves. We have to tell them that ourselves and this way of communicating always worked. I can say we had a lot more sense when we were little than what we have now.

As we grow up our thinking changes. We tend to become so called smart but on the way we become the entire opposite. We become dumb when it comes to relationships and I will tell you why

few days back my friend called me and told me that he will come to my place to visit me on Sunday and i was so happy and so eager to meet him. but sunday passed and e didnt came.i called him the next day to ask why he didnt make it and i couldnt believe what he told me

"oh man sorry but i had a urgent work to do and i meant to call you but i thought you could understand that some work must have come my way"

and i was thinking like how could i understand? i am not a psychic. its ok you got work to do but atleast call me and tell me you are not coming instead of just assuming that i will know it somehow..i was so angry that we all are doing the same. just assuming and assuming .not thinking about what other person might be thinking.

there are only two answers in this world YES or NO.

there is no " maybe" or " i will see" or "let me think"..its either yes or no..that's it!!. either you want something or you don't. don't make excuses because that can only hurt someone..

We now have this absurd idea that other person should be able to understand how we feel and that’s a stupid idea. We always say that I love my mother , I love my father and actually never in person tell this thing to their face  because we think that they already know and had the idea that their son or daughter love them..

 

A girl or a boy who has crush on someone can infatuate over the other person for over long time but don’t have the courage to tell how they feel because we want the other person to somehow find out by themselves

A boy calls her friend and she tells her that her mood is off but don’t know why. Boy tries very hard to calm her but she keeps telling her that she is not in mood of talking but in reality she wants him to help her but also wants him to find out whats in her mind by himself

And the worst example. A boyfriend and girlfiend broke up without giving a proper reason or giving it a reason at all thinking that the other person can understand.. guess what it doesn’t work that way. No one can understand what you are telling unless you don’t tell yourself

Why we do things based on assumptions. Breaking promises without giving a reason ,just assuming that everyone can understand what you did and why you did. Our cheezy dialogues ruining our relations every day. Its our fault

I think we are doing a bad thing here. These movies these assumptions they are to be blame for all the lies, the heartache, the pain. People should be able to tell themselves how they feel. It’s a responsibility. Be like that infant who is able to tell what he wanna say . don’t be smart , be responsible, be dumb but atleast don’t go on living your life based on assumptions and the let go attitude

Don’t learn to just talk…..learn to say!!!

DO NOT MOVE ON...

i have always heard people say " move on with life and never look back". people change with time and they say so like its a good thing and according to me its the worst.

i am not the most popular guy on facebook and there is hardly anyone who chats with me. so there i was staring hopelessly on the fb home page waiting for someone to say hi but after a while i realized thats not gonna happen.  i have like more than 100 friends but not even a single hi make me sad. so i thought why not see my timeline and there i was again looking at what i have been posting over these recent years

as i went to my first post which i made like 5 years back , i was shocked to see the replies i had . i was a popular guy back then . my friends remebered me and liked me. we all were so close and so innocent back then. there were status updates which i had written almost everyday on my wall. and almost every status yielded me like atleast 20 replies . hell i had many girls as my friends back then and i also did chat with them.

it was wierd and shocking to me as i cant do any of this stuff now and cant beleive how self satisfied and confident i was back then. back then i was HAPPY
not me but evry friend in my friendlist were different back then and i remember how i had promised myself that i will not change but eventually i did/

people often say that we change for good. they call it moving on with life. but what kind of life?
we had became materialistic.,ignorent. and all our inocence is like gone ..

no one likes to think about past bit not me .right now i am feeling so bad about what kind of person i have became and everyone else has became.

dont change.. change is always bad. instead of moving forward . keep thinking about your past and remember how you were because even though you think yu r now better than before . trust me the reality is deep down you were better before and its aour duty to look back and remember our past and not just ignore it because it will help you remain the same honest sweet person you were before.

our society is bad. it pushes you to become the person you are not and its under your control if you gonna let yourself be controlled. be the person you were before but in better way . keep moving ahead in life but keep your past with you. remember the mistakes you have made in the past, the friends you just lost because you never tried to contact them. people who love you and if you dont talk to them now then you are gonna lose them forever and then you will gonna regret it your whole life. trust me as i had one the same mistake

so dont just keep going ahead in life..
stay. think for a second and try to be the good person you were before 

WHY I THINK INDIA IS NOT A GREAT COUNTRY

me and my parents were watching cricket match on the tv this afternoon and at one point our national anthem started playing in the background and my mom said to me

“I am proud to be an Indian. India is the best country”

And I was like …yeah!!sure

Then my mom suddenly realized that i don’t share the same feeling and all of a sudden there was a long arguments between me , my mother which was later joined by my father about how our india  is the greatest country an since I was against this , I eventually gave up and went to my room.

My mom and dad didn’t even listened to what I have to say so now I am going to tell you my thoughts on why I think india is not great

India is often referred to as a developing country and I don’t see the point in it. What is developing means??

If building huge skyscrapers and increasing our economy is considered developing then sure it is developing but I guess its not that simple. Developing means doing things for our people not try to match other countries economy

Indians have a very bad habit of showing off. We like to show off. With our phone, our branded clothes and every little thing in our life, we want it big and cool than others.

India is not developing because all we do is blame blame and blame.  We blame someone for every failure we face and want to take credit for success. We blame our state MP for state problems ,for all the bumps on the road to drinking water problem, further the MP blames higher authority and further everyone blames the PM. No one blames himself or herself . the reality is that we are responsible too for failures .. I am too . but we never accept it because we are taught to believe that everything is good and fine but if don’t accept that we are failing then we cant succeed.

Our system is corrupt , there are rape cases ,murders and hell lot of problems and what we do is blame. We blame ministers for corruption, blame police for any rape case and never even thinks about that we are very much responsible for that because its our society and we are part of it

At every corner at every city there is someone who is saying “india is going towards disaster. There is nothing that can be done”. If we keeps thinking that then one day it will be true. We just want to be like American’s . we know everything about western culture and tries to be like them.. its not bad to be cool but doing something for our own country is what really matters

Rich is getting more rich and poor is getting more poor. That’s what always happened in india and it will always be like this . people say there is hope because PM will do something for us . hell why wait for them. We should do something for us not blame someone and depend on others.

I know my words are boring and its easy to say such words and really I don’t care but I know one thing that just believing in this fact that india is best is crap. India is not best but I believe that we have the capability to be the best but we cant unless we don’t  start believing that india is not great and have problems instead of just blindly believing that it doesn’t.